A New Chapter

Perhaps many of you have noticed how dusty it has gotten around here. I have gone through many changes in life, begun new journeys, and learned a handful of lessons.
I am still in Ethiopia, now private tutoring in English. Over the past two years, I have nearly completed my bachelor's degree (I graduate in May!) and obtained a TESOL certification.
However, my dreams are (and gave always been) to pursue my passion in creative storytelling and becoming an author. I have recently embarked on what I hope to be a bigger and better chapter in my life that prefaces life as an author.
As I lay this blog to final rest, you can continue following me and my story by checking out my short story blog.
At Creativity Brewing, you can enjoy a freshly brewed tale that you can read in three minutes while you are having your morning cup of coffee or tea, whichever you fancy.

Thank you for joining me thus far and I hope to see you on the other side!

-Kevin Barrick 

Newsletter Subscription

I will be sending out my first quarterly newsletter by the end of July, updating on things that I have been involved in while back in the States for the summer, plus some visions for when I return.

If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe so you can be a part of my mailing list! :)


You should have seen a popup, however if you didn't, you can follow the link below, fill out a short form (Name and E-mail address), and you're on your way to being a part of my prayer and support team!

Subscribe!

Tapestries of their Lives : Looking at the Threads.

Meet Daniel. This is one of the children I tutor at Unforgotten Faces. He is going into Grade 7. He lives with his mom and two brothers, and he is the oldest of the boys. Problems at home, inconsistencies in life, and assumptions of those around him as left him to trudge through the sludge of being known as a trouble maker. I have seen through the guise and see him for who he truly is, or at least more than what he is known to be. He lacks a sense of self worth after having struggled under the label of a trouble maker. Many times he has succumbed to such mentality, other times he gives up on things like handwriting or even learning due to the weight of his assumed identity. He began losing his sense of hygiene recently before I left, coming to the organization with scabbed nose or fingers gained from bacteria found in rubbish around town.

But he is more than all that. He is a smart student. He has huge potential. And he has a big heart. He needs an opportunity. He needs love.

Your contribution to my ministry will enable me to return and minister to Daniel. He needs a mentor-figure to help guide him. He needs someone to show him love without any sense of blindness to his true identity. He needs someone to overlook the outward expressions caused by inward turmoil. He needs someone to reach out and comfort and aid.

When you invest, you will invest in the life of Daniel and other children like him. When you support me, you send me out to be a thread in his life to connect the chaos of his current life and hem in a new beauty. When you give, you invest in the repair of the rips and frays of their lives.


You can invest via PayPal : Donate here!

Thank you for your thoughts, your love, and your support!

So When Do You Go Back?

 Last week I surprised everyone by coming back a month early. While those closest to me hate to ask, those that casually know me always interject a "So when do you go back?" For those that hate that question, it's more of an undesired event: my departure. However, for me personally, I view it as something beautiful. Not necessarily excited. Not necessarily exciting, though it can be. Mostly just pure beauty.






For the past two years I have lived in Ethiopia. Part of that time I was doing more photo-journalistic work, taking photos to update one organization's sponsorship booklet as well as writing a short essay on their story. But the majority of my time spent in Ethiopia was spent setting roots as well as introducing myself to the way of teaching. I began spending time with my sponsor kid at the beginning and now have become part of the family, learning the language and culture, as well as just living life with them.

I also joined the Unforgotten Faces team as a volunteer. I started more as a general "walk-around" tutor, helping the kids with English and Mathematics. Once I got the language a little more under my belt, I began to take whole classes and tutor on English the topics they were studying in school. Just as I was getting ready to leave I began to teach my own curriculum using the materials I had on hand. I would take a small group at a time and teach either reading, early phonics, or basic grammar and conversational English.



That beginning time in Ethiopia really gave me the opportunity to grow and find myself, or at least begin to discover my identity. I find myself more of a helper-type personality. I love to help people. As I've moved across the globe, my form of helping has changed drastically. I like to help people on an emotional, spiritual level. Helping people find peace and know themselves. However, due to a huge language barrier, that has been forced to come to a basic level of emotional help. The emotional support given in friendship or as someone who doesn't treat the person like everyone else does. As my language develops, so will my pathways to pursuing that part of who I am. At this time, my help has become more holistic, which I neither regret nor despise. I teach English. I tutor Math. In the process I might offer advice or show love or concern. But those things aren't my focal points right now. English in a developing country is a very marketable skill. If a child can learn English now while he or she is in school, then university will be that much easier and finding a good job will be almost endless. Then their lives in the future will fruitful. And I will, in that moment, have helped them at a level beyond merely holistic for their lives and perspectives will be changed.

         So when I go back at the end of the summer, I will pour my heart out all the more teaching those children English. I will create a teaching atmosphere in which they can learn. I will officially begin my life as an English Teacher to students of a different language. I will begin to mold the future of a handful of students as they learn English. And that is beautiful. Not that I am the tapestry, but rather I am a thread being woven into the tapestry of life. More precisely, I am a thread being woven into the tapestry of the life of each of my students. I am not the weaver, I am not the tapestry. But I can change the way the tapestry looks from here on out. Not drastically. But slightly. A change in hues. A shift in rotation. A break in color.



And you can bring me to the loom. You, too, can invest in the tapestries of life. I am volunteering with Unforgotten Faces. They do not pay me. I have no other job from which an income flows in. I am living off of the generosity of people like you. Therefore, while I may be a thread woven into their tapestries of life, I will eventually run out. But that is where you come in. By your gifts of love, by your thoughts, by your donations I can continue teaching.








If you want to help out, take a look at the "How You Can Help" tab. In there you can find a list of different things for which I am raising money. Concisely: plane ticket, healthcare, living. Check out, also, the "About" tab for more information not covered in this post. Additionally, I will continue to keep my "Child Highlight" tab open. I intended to use it more often. This time, I will highlight one of my students, showing how he/she has grown as a student or even as a person. It might not be frequent, but I will make a blog entry notifying when I update it, so keep an eye out!






Thank you for your help, support, and thoughts!

Kevin Barrick

kevinmbarrick@gmail.com

PayPal: https://paypal.me/KevinBarrick

Updates in Ethiopia

 At the time of writing this newsletter, I am just about halfway through the second phase of my language school. After I finish, I will begin more interpersonal ministry work. I am excited to be able to speak the language and make connections with the children to whom I am ministering—even if the conversation lingers on where their school is, what their grade is, how many classmates they have, and what their name is. In language school, I am building my abilities to story-tell. Daily, I am given a picture book that contains no words and told to describe it and tell the story of the images. I have to explain when a woman is robbed (even if by a monkey), when a boy helps a blind shimagele (older man) cross the street on the way to school, when a siratenia (worker) gets upset by having to carry 3-5 bundles of groceries at once without any help, or when a small woof (bird) finds a new hat but discovers his friend makes fun of it, only to steal it when the woof flies away in shame.

God has given me a skill with languages and I am picking up things pretty well. I look forward to fluency, but am grateful for the level in which I am now. True love is demonstrated by taking efforts to understand. I want my love to be realized by seeing my efforts to understand their hearts and lives through their language—even if I get stuck in the mud in the middle of the conversation.

I appreciate your donations and your prayers greatly. This time in language school will prove to be invaluable to my ministry in coming years. Thank you.

At our monthly Children's Program, we taught thankfulness and encouraged the children to take time that day to thank someone after class. The next day we followed up on the encouragement and found that a good few of them went out and thanked their families for various things.

For that, I'm thankful. ;)

God is amazing, isn't He? His love is indescribable. His Light overcomes the Darkness and His glory fills the earth night and day. Praise His holy name!

There is a beauty in the calling of God's voice. Whatever it is that we are called to do, we can embrace it with full heart. Whether it is working with prostitutes in the Red Light District or whether it is being a lawyer; whether it is working with street kids or working with Elementary schools doing Bible classes; whether it is teaching at a school or a university or being a private tutor. We can embrace God's call for our heart with every bit of it. Not because of indebted duty or because we are bound to the whim of God, but because, from our birth, we have been divinely guided and prepared to devote our hearts to the purpose of God. If God calls us to education now, we will have had been prepared throughout our lives. Perhaps not with an early grasp of teaching skills, but perhaps with a seed of passion. Interests, passions, events, circumstances, trials, and excitements were all used to prepare you to be able to devote your entire heart to God's calling.

All the while, I do not believe God has any specific will for each and every person to the point that if you do not follow it you are living in sin and breaking fellowship with Him. I do, nonetheless, believe that God has a will for everyone in a general sense and turning away from that will of God would result in sin and the breaking of fellowship with God. That will is two-fold: Love God and love others. If you do not love God and love others then you are sinning. With that in mind, whatever you do that flows from that is automatically God's will. If you are working in a community center and loving God and loving others, then you are doing God's will for your life. If you are a doctor and loving God and loving others, then you are in accordance to God's will. God's will is not a mystery; it is plain and simple. The only tricky part is following God's will in the avenue in which He has prepared you for your entire life.

Thus, while you may be teaching a Bible class at an Elementary school with a heart full of love, you may not be doing the task God prepared you for. Is it a sin, then, for you to be teaching that class? Absolutely not. You are loving God and others. Are you a perfect match for it, possibly not. You may have a good bit of your heart in your work, but it may be that not all of it is there; and therefore you grow more weary and lose passion as time goes on. You can stay where you are and be in good communion with God, but you might not be balanced in your heart with your task. Some of your abilities or passions may not be utilized or may be over-utilized.

It is with that in mind that I share with you my plans for the next 6-12 months. My heart and passion is for neglected children. Up to this point, that took the form in various children's ministries where my heart would find attachment to the broken ones or the ones looked down upon. Those that adults would label trouble makers or those ostracized by other children.

When I committed my heart to coming to Ethiopia, I knew I had no definite plans for the entire two years. It was a completely new field in which to follow God. There were no Elementary schools in which I could lead Bible Clubs. When I came here in 2012, I taught at an academy. That was my only “old” area, therefore I chose to rejoin that organization (Blessing the Children International) and teach at their academy. I knew when I chose to rejoin them that I would be doing side things—primarily teaching Sunday School at my church in Debre Zeyit.

My heart still throbs for those that are neglected. I envision, now, working with street children at some point in the future. At this point, that is still at least a year away. But I want to begin the steps toward that. Therefore, I have decided to work with BCI for these next 6 months, during which I will learn the lay of the land and dabble with various organizations in Debre Zeyit or Addis Ababa. I will see what it is like ministering to the children of Debre Zeyit on a personal level and not on a teacher level. I will find out what it takes to gain their trust and learn how others have broken their trust in the past. I will be a light of God's love for them, even if it is just in struggling to convey simple thoughts in their own language so to come to the point of understanding their hearts.

For the next 6 months I will be living off of the funds I raised before coming to Ethiopia. However, after that I will be living off of reserves. I am budgeting between $400-$500 a month beginning around June 2015. That will cover my personal living costs as well as ministry costs. Once I finish the 6 months with BCI, I will begin to take my next step to working with the street children. I will then partner with an existing ministry that works with street children. I will learn how they operate and gain insights. My plan is to find multiple ministries and, throughout the following year, inter-work with those ministries. At the end of that, in the Summer of 2016, I will return to the States and see where my heart and God lead me.

Until then, I will pour my heart out to the children of Debre Zeyit and perhaps also Addis Ababa. I will build bonds with them and reveal to them the love and light of Jesus Christ. Specific actions are unknown, but I do plan on helping a ministry called Unforgotten Faces by being a mentor to the children. I will also eventually (after the 6 month mark) work on beginning a street Bible Club near one of the churches that I will be working with. But those details will come as it gets closer and more solid.

I ask that you pray for me as I embrace God's calling and give Him my heart. I don't know where this all will take me or how it will shape me, but I really just want to give my heart to restoring the hope of these children and allowing them to see the Light that the Darkness of this age tries to hide.

However, I not only ask you to pray, but I ask you to give. It's very easy to throw a prayer in the air just after reading this. I know, for I am guilty of doing just that. For my prayer warriors: I am very grateful to you. The constant, fervent prayer of righteous ones avails very much against the darkness that surrounds my life and God's work. If you pray for me regularly, then you are very much thanked. Please know it.

But whether you pray for me or not, please consider donating to my ministry. Even if it is just $5/month. I really mean that. And, though as not to bore you, here is what that $5 translates into:

First, $5 is *100ETB( Ethiopian Birr, which will be denoted with an asterisk). *100 can buy 10 one-liter bottles of water; 50 packages of cookies for Children Programs; 10 bags of milk; a meal for a family of 4 twice; two and a half plates of breakfast for a mentored child; 14 school notebooks; 25 two-way trips to the area of my ministering; approx. two days worth of travel to and from Addis Ababa; just barely less than the cost of registering a child for school at a government school.

Five dollars.

I understand that you might have school, a family, your own ministry, or other financial burdens. I get that. But five dollars really isn't that much for you, I'd imagine. But it is a lot to me. Won't you consider giving at least that much? Won't you consider going without that latte for just one day and giving that money to God's work here in Ethiopia? It really isn't offensive if you give a little. It really isn't insignificant. It really isn't bothersome. It is rather a beautiful sight to see that you decided to give, even if a little, to the work of Light.

So pray. Consider giving. Pursue love. Join in the fight against Darkness.

|Kevin Barrick|

Paypal: imagoin2heaven@yahoo.com

Address: 919 S. Battleground Ave. Kings Mountain, NC 28086

Warfare is Right Here

The concept of Christians being in a constant battle is either disregarded or misunderstood as an exaggeration of the Church. Either life is life and we must live through it while maintaining some moral uprightness; or life is a struggle to live uprightly and we give a nod to being in “The Lord's Army” and battling against the Devil who wants us to sin.

But the Christian life is more than both of those ideas. Yes there is an Enemy to our God and Saviour. Yes there are daily struggles to remain pure and spotless children of God. Yes we know there are human enemies trying to stop us from doing what is right. But how often do we look beyond the physical and peer into the spiritual? How often do we consider the seemingly random and outrageous thoughts which pop into our minds (to lust or to doubt or to hate) as more than mere temptations but as specific, targeted attacks against us to get us to destroy our view of God or our love for God or our devotion to God? How often do we see the conflicts or misunderstandings between the people we are ministering with as the same targeted attacks? How often do we see the roadblocks or delays or dead-ends as attacks on our mind in Christ?

We are in a daily fight for our lives. Satan and his demons desire to erase God from the world. The Bible records that Satan has lost the battle at the end of it all, but he is still active now. Therefore, Satan knows he will not conquer God in the end, but he still works to conquer the hearts and lives of the people of earth before the final destruction of himself. He wishes to keep mankind in darkness and to turn Christians from the light into the darkness.

According to that goal, Satan and his devils daily work against God. They whisper words of fear, hatred, pride, or deceit. They flash images of lust, anger, animosity or inadequacy. They encourage ideas of loneliness, inability, ignorance, or turning back. They fight with full barracks, full quivers, loaded guns, ongoing ferocity. They taunt with thoughts you are inadequate to serve God. They haunt with regret and fears of the past. They flirt with selfishness and self-indulgence.

Whenever you decide to follow God and to live for Him, then you will be assaulted in the spiritual world, sometimes with attacks entering the physical world. There is no exception. Christ understood that and told his disciples that He would give them power to do His commands. He also explained He was sending other Gospel Bearers as lambs among wolves. Paul explains that we need to be clear-minded and focused and mentally aroused to the world around us both spiritually and physically because Satan—our foe, our nemesis, our stumbler, our tempter, our accuser, our adversary—is out there. Satan is a lion—fierce, angry, dangerous, hungry—and wants to devour us. He doesn't simply want to kill our hopes or our ministry. He doesn't want to just stop us from following God. He wants to destroy us. He wants to get us to the point where we decide to turn away from God indefinitely and he will use whatever method can get us to that point.

Satan is not a a whimsical, abstract idea. He is powerful and has many tools at his advantage. He uses people to progress his agenda, he uses demons, and he uses our flesh. He will send people to hurt us emotionally or physically. He will oppress us with doubts and fears and anxieties. He will tempt us with lust and pride and greed. He doesn't really care what he destroys you with—he just wants to render you useless. ((Side note: While sin has its consequences, you are never useless to God. He is active in the business of restoring people and healing their hearts and repairing lives. The only way you are useless to God is if you believe you are and thus hold back your heart and life from Him. But if you surrender yourself to Him He will use you.))

So be thoughtful as you go through your day. When you interact with people or do your ministry or drive to work, how is Satan attacking you? Easy things are the following: Thoughts of bitterness or anger. Thoughts of lust or worry. Thoughts of pride. But sometimes they come unexpectedly and you assume it is just life or just the facts. You walk into work to find out a rumor has been spread about your character. A guy nearly drives you off the road. A misunderstanding between your colleague prevents progress in your ministry. You realize there are way too many people for you to share the Light of Christ with. You realize you are too dependent to fully dive into following God and you doubt you can do it by yourself or that Christ would be with you. You get a tangle in your official paperwork that blind-sides you. Your spouse or kids drive you up the wall with tiny, consecutive moments of chaos or drama.

The thing you need to do is to identify them as they come. Realize that if the thoughts suggests that you doubt God's word or to stop following Him, then it isn't from God. If the thought is to further the kingdom, spread the love of God, share the Light of Christ, then it is from God. You can pretty easily determine most of the voices and their speakers. Therefore, when you hear the voice of Darkness whisper for you to take steps away from God, then identify it as a personal attack against you. And when you identify it, abide by the following: Submit yourself to God. Know His say in the matter and give yourself over to His leading. Then resist the urge to turn from God. Resist the attack. Don't let the demons oppress you. You have authority granted by Jesus Christ to dispel demons. The Cross and Resurrection of Christ grants you to live free from sin. Therefore, under the power of King Jesus, resist the devils. When you submit to God and resist the attacks, Satan will flee. He will run away.

Today, live in constant awareness that you are in a battle against your Enemy. Live knowing you are being attacked at every turn. Begin identifying those attacks and commit yourself to following God and resisting the urges to doubt or fear or be angry. Actively pursue God and dwell in His presence and power and love so that you can embrace the love of Christ that restores you and empowers you to love Him.

Finally, an Update!

So, a month in and I have yet to actually post an update of living in Ethiopia. I unfortunately am on a public computer, so I will not be able to post any photos, but I should "soon" enough. Yet, unfortunately for you, this isn't much of an update. As I am on a public computer and don't have full mind to update adequately.

I haven't updated anything mainly because I am still in the transition phase--which I should be out of come next week. I begin language school next week, though I attempted to begin it early this week (didn't happen). So, now I wait. I am excited to learn the language and be able to communicate a little better. I obviously won't be close to fluent, but I will be able to get around a little better.

During my month transition, I have been doing a lot of reading and a lot of thinking. Hence the two prior (and one eventual) posts dealing more with thought than Ethiopian updates. However, these were important things I have learned, and the following post might be the most important of the three. (But you have to wait in suspense until I can get on WiFi to post it--I didn't bring a flash drive.)

I begin my work with BCI after language school and am anxious to see all my kiddoes that I left last time. I look forward to learning what I will from the experience and to see what God has in store for me after those 6 months. I don't know the future unknown, but I trust in the God who is Eternal.


As for my travels to Addis--crazy and a lot of people.

As for my interaction with my new family-- randomly teaching Spanish and learning Amharic.

As for my help in Sunday School-- we have begun a lesson series on the Life of Christ.

I hope to update more thoroughly when events come.

Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your thoughts.

The Unknown

The unknown bears with it multiple emotions. Then again, it would have to. For who rejoices at the first moment of death; or who trembles in fear at the first thought of new friendships. But rather, you fear at breaking friendships and you mourn at deaths. But your mind cannot process the unknown efficiently. You may decide in yourself to fear the unknown, but what if when the unknown becomes known and it is a source of joy and excitement and happiness? What if it is a new job or a new significant other or a new family member? If you prepared your heart and mind for the unknown with fear, then when the joy is revealed, you will fear it instinctively. What if the boss is irrational and angry? What if this significant doesn't understand the same type of humor or mind processes? What if the new family member doesn't like you or doesn't connect with you or is scared of you, too?

If you prepared your mind for the unknown with pure exhilaration and enthusiasm, then you will be clutched to stillness when your new job forces you to move across the country. Your heart with implode when you realize this significant other only wanted your status or your money or your influence for personal benefit. Your emotions will go haywire when you find out this new family member has a hard background, scary life-view, and reserved speech.

Therefore, since the unknown is precisely that, we must prepare with a constant. What can be present in both the happy and sad, the mundane and the exciting, the serious and the jovial? What can be present in the deepest of sorrows and the highest of joys? What can be focused on now before the unknown comes that will be adequate when the unknown reveals itself?

Trusting God in the unknown prepares us for trusting God in the known. When we don't know the future, we need to trust God. When we find out the job is the perfect one, we need to trust God. When that job moves us across the country, we need to trust God. When our significant other reveals zero flaws, we need to trust God. When our significant other reveals a significant flaw, we need to trust God. When a new family member becomes a closest friend, we need to trust God. When a new family member has a wall because too many people in his past has bombarded his heart, we need to trust God.

For when we trust God in the unknown, despite what we may hope for, we already have a foundation of trust for when the unexpected comes. God is not a Deity who glories in pain and relishes in discouragement. Rather, He is One who desires the best for us. While the road that leads us to the best may not be pleasant or anticipated, God is with us through it all and with us in our best.

Trust comes with knowledge. God doesn't desire blind faith—the kind of faith where you throw a dime in the air and hope it lands on its edge. But rather, God desires the trust that comes from observation of facts. God doesn't desire us to trust Him to do as we imagine, but rather to do as He deems best. We can look at the stories of the lives of people in the Bible to see how God interacted with His people and preformed mighty deeds and kept His word and upheld the righteous. And we can look into the lives of recent figures in history through their biographies and autobiographies and observe the same God taking care of His people through His faithfulness. We can observe through our own lives how God keeps His word and how He remained faithful. Therefore, when we trust God to be King and El Shaddai in our unknown, we are depending on His trustworthiness that has been displayed ever since Creation. When we trust God to bring about our best in times of joy and sorrow and in times of excitement and mundane, we can depend more firmly in His unchanging faithfulness to His people.

Trust God in the unknown so that you may trust God in the known. He will not leave you. He will not detest you. He will not end His love for you. He will not be blind to the future. He will continue to produce growth in your spirit and continue to shine forth His faithfulness.

Workers of the Light

Imagine there is this ancient town where in the innermost square of the city is a well of fire. This will geysers fire into the sky with unfathomable heights. The flames are strong and jubilant, dancing and swirling with freedom. As the pillar of fire reaches skyward, it also sends out arms of fire in all directions away from the well. These arms of fire crawl outward, never singing the landscape and never slaying a living creature. When the arms of fire have spread out enough, they burrow into the ground, creating a web of roots. These roots, too, are of fire and they branch out throughout the underbelly of the city. Tree begin to sprout via the roots of fire and tower above the inhabitants. As the trees continue to grow, fruit blossoms speckle the branches and eventually enough fruits of fire fill the branches of the trees all throughout the landscape of the city.

The inhabitants of the city live in this light with appreciation. For in all directions leading away from the City of Light, darkness reigns and enshrouds other cities of the world. The inhabitants of the City of Light eventually formed themselves into two sects of people. The one sect began to become engulfed by the fire and wore the flames intently. The other sect only lived in the Light and remained unaffected by the fire raging through the town. These ones, who call themselves the Inhabitants of the Light, place themselves throughout the city without any real concern for the people who live on the other side of the walls. Some Inhabitants of the Light live on the walls themselves, but soon become unstable. For as they live on the Boundary of the Darkness and Light, they find themselves entranced by the darkness and wonder the lifestyles of living in the darkness. They envision life without the constant array of fire that dances about them. They wonder at the life that could be lived under the guise of darkness, never to be seen by friends or family. Some remain in the City of Light merely because they fear the darkness more than they are awed by it. They fear death and fear what dwells in the darkness.

Then there is the sect who call themselves the Workers of the Light. These people view life in the light and in the darkness differently. They understand that life in darkness is lived in fear of death and fear of light. They realize that the people in the darkness are not sources to be feared, but rather to be loved as much as people in the light are loved. The Workers of the Light consistently put on cloaks of fire and bear a torch lit with the direct flames of the well, venturing out into the darkness to establish light in the darkness. They claim the safety that the light gives them to ward of the fears that the darkness attempts to enchant them with. They enter cities of darkness and find people to share the light with. They realize the torch they bear cannot erupt the entire world in light, but they know that it is enough to engulf one or two Inhabitants of the Darkness.

As the Workers of the Light continue their journey back and forth between the Well of Fire and the budding cities of light, they work to build a fountain of fire in the liberated new cities of light. As the fountain is built, more Inhabitants of the Darkness embrace the light given by the Workers of the Light and burn away their cloaks of darkness and put on cloaks of fire, burning with the same embers of the Workers of Light. They live no longer in fear of what the darkness may hold for their light shines in the darkness and they see the world as it is meant to be seen and may live free from fear.

That is not to say the task of the traveling Workers of Light nor the duty of the newfound Workers of Light is unchallenged. For there are Workers of Darkness just as fervent, if not more, as their counterparts of Light. They gather in all their power to put out the light they bear, whether it is by murder or by influences of fear. The Workers of Darkness never stand idle as their cities are defeated by the light and they have begun to set up sentries at the untouched cities of darkness. As the Workers of Light venture out into new lands, the Sentries of Darkness pounce and stifle the light to the best of their powers. Some succeed while others despair in their defeat to the light.

The thought that compels the Workers of Light to never quit is that one day the planted fountains of fire will eventually spring out and connect the Cities of Light around the world with bands of fire, leading back to the Well of Fire in the grand City of Light. While there is danger from the Sentries of Darkness and while there is fear by the Workers of Darkness, there is power in the light that is unmatched if dear is dispelled. They journey out with their cloaks and torches, meeting the Inhabitants of Darkness to bring to them the light that can burn away their darkness and end their fears.

The challenge for the Workers of Light is ever fierce. Never is there a day in which they can pass on their burning fires with little oppression of the darkness. Even when there are no Workers of Darkness present, the darkness itself is thick and haunting. Though there be fire dancing within their spirits and leaping from their shoulders on the ground around, the darkness lies in hideous wait, watching for moments to drown out the light. For the darkness is not an idle conception, flowing through the world on a breeze; it is on an endeavor to reign. Darkness finds richness in the unseen and in the frightfulness of the unknown. The glory of its riches is to pursue deeper, madder darkness. The pinnacle of fulfillment is the decline in humanity into uncontrollable chaos and panic. It is in respect to this nature the darkness has to magnify itself that the Workers of Light battle ferociously against.

With intent to enrich the soils with the fountains of fire which are blossomed by the torch burning with the flames of the Well of Fire, the Workers of Light travel the highlands and lowlands. Yet despite such resolve, the level of their fervor diminishes with each seedling of fire planted within the minds of the Inhabitants of Darkness. For they are not simply providing an enlightenment of the light in which they produce a kindling of fire; but rather the Workers of Light give away a portion of their fire to burn away the darkness and give birth to an Inhabitant of Light. When the Workers of Light give away their light, they must return to the Well of Fire to be rekindled with the ever-flowing flames which radiate into the entirety of the City of Light.

As the newly birthed Inhabitants of Light find their flames and burn away the darkness, they are presented with an assortment of paths to travel. One is to stay where they are and remain an Inhabitant of Light, though much distant from the City of Light. However, with that is the risk of being overpowered by the darkness of their city and lose their light, resulting in a low-burning ember. Another option is to make a pilgrimage to the City of Light and embrace the warming flames of the Well of Fire and remain affixed to the city, never choosing to leave again. Such a choice keeps them in the sect of the Inhabitants of Light. Yet a third choice remains for them. They may choose to become a Worker of Light and make continuous pilgrimages to the Well of Fire all the while birthing the light which burns away darkness into Inhabitants of Darkness. As they continue to choose this path, they will soon be a part of a blossoming of a fountain of fire which would radiate the fires throughout the city, becoming a city of light, burning away the darkness within and shining against the darkness without.

Diligence must always be named among the Workers of Light. They must carry their torches with pure determination to see humanity banish fear and dispel darkness. They must walk with their minds on the Well of Fire. When they notice themselves dimming and darkness tries to persuade them to remain in the darkness which surrounds them, they must ever resolve to return to the Well of Fire and once again reignite the flames that radiate through their bodies and dance off of their clothes. They must also dip their torch into the Spire of Fire to redeem the embers which grew soft during the journey. If they refuse to live with such devotion to the maintaining of their fire, they will eventually find themselves lost in the darkness, torn between embracing the darkness and returning to the light. For in the twilight there is much deception to what the deep darkness holds. It promises freedom from the burden of light-bearing; it promises joys and rewards for embracing the darkness; it promises to some kingdoms of darkness to reign over. The twilight distorts the line between dark and light and questions rise to the importance of light. For if one can see fine in such dim light, certainly they can see well enough to navigate the darkness and remain fearless. Or so they imagine.

But the light beckons. It reaches high into the heavens rooted at the Well of Fire: a beacon of truth and of life without fear. It spirals far above the City of Light to remind the Workers of Light that the darkness is nothing to desire. If only those who find themselves in the twilight look to the beacon and take a couple steps toward the City of Light, the deceptions of the darkness will fade into the depths from which they come.

The hope of all Workers of Light is to see the entire world in light and unite together with fellow Workers and Inhabitants of Light to burn away the final traces of darkness one day. They hope for that final day when the Well of Fire interconnects with the Fountains of Fire and course light like veins through the world. And when that happens, the world will welcome a new age to its citizens. An age of final fearlessness. An age of pure light filling every edge of the world. An age of communion in the light, never to be assaulted by the darkness or the Workers of Darkness again.

And for such a new age, the Workers of Light bear a saying in their minds and hearts when they rise from sleep, when they walk their course, and when they lie down to sleep: “May I fill my being with the fire which burns away fear and darkness and may I give it away to those who walk in darkness. May they, too, fill themselves with that fire and give it away freely. So that we may work together to burn away darkness and remind each other of the Well of Fire which clothes them with fearlessness and light.”

~ ~ ~

So I am here, to be a worker of the Light of God. As I give my portion of light of God which burns away the darkness of sin, I must purpose my heart to return to the source consistently to be rejuvenated in His power and love and Light.

May I continue to saturate my heart in the wisdom of God, and consecrate my passions to the will of Christ, and devote my ideas and imaginations to the mind of Christ.

3 and 6. Numbers with deep meaning.

3. Three months until I board the plane to Ethiopia.

6. Six months is the amount of time that I have enough money for.

No matter how much money I have, I will be leaving in September. However, beyond the 6 months...I depend on God's providence and your giving.

Won't you consider giving so I can go to Ethiopia? There is little I can do now as far as fundraising events are concerned. I might have chance to do one or two more things, but time is limited. Now it rests in your hands. God is going to provide through you. God doesn't provide by birds dropping off bundles of $100 or by mysteriously placing money underneath my pillow. God provides by touching people's hearts and impressing them to give.

God's way of providing my plane ticket and providing me money each month is you giving. Whether it is $20 or $100; $5 or $200. When you give at whatever amount God impresses, you are the hand by which God provides. You are the heart through whom He loves.

Follow this link to learn more about my following God's grace in Ethiopia.

You can send your donations to me directly at :

919 S. Battleground Ave.

Kings Mountain, NC 28086

Thank you for your giving. Thank you for your caring. Thank you for your loving!

 

3 Months.

It's scary.
It's invigorating.
It's so close.
It's even further away.

Thousands of words describe my excitement and timidness. And yet barely a sentence can be formed to appropriately explain.

I'm ready, and yet utterly ill-prepared.

I want to go now. Yet, I still don't want to leave the people I'm bonding with here.

I want throw caution to the wind and embrace God's unknown. But I don't want to be hurt.

Three months. An eternity inside a breath.

And yet I'm boarding that plane to Ethiopia soon enough--ready or not, here I come.

Why I Don't Want to Go to Ethiopia

People often say that I must be excited about going--even asking what I'm most excited about.
Amid any excitement, I have things I'm not too keen about. Things that make me not want to go.

It's been two years since I left Ethiopia. Except for the national workers with BCI, it is safe to assume at least 80% of the people will not remember me. It is only logical. I was there for four months in and out of people's lives. I would like to say I made an impact, but a lot of regrets desire to differ. Particularly because most of the children I worked with were under the grade of 7 (under the age of about 12), they are probably to young to remember me. For the most part, I guess that is to be expected and accepted. But what about those kids I really bonded with? What about the boy I sponsor? Will they remember me? I've built up returning to Ethiopia in my mind--like a big reunion after a two year hiatus. But now, what if it isn't as special for me or them as I've always imagined? What if, upon my re-introduction, they don't like me?

Another reason I don't want to go to Ethiopia is because I'm not too keen on the idea of being sick. I never get sick. I get allergies, but very rarely anything else. While I was in Ethiopia in 2012, Jonnett got sick like 100% of the time. =P I don't want to get gross-sick. I don't want to be shackled  to my bed for weeks until I get better.

I also don't want to go to Ethiopia because I don't want to fail. What if I go to Ethiopia and just screw up everything? What if I snap with anger and frustration and wreck months of relationship building? What if I blow up and mess up testimonies of people I love ( I mean, how would it look if I yelled at my students and slam a book down on the counter?)

I don't want to go to Ethiopia because I don't want to get there and realize I wasted two years of anticipation and throw away the money it takes to get there. I don't want to have my heart crushed that this whole experience, this whole journey was a misdirection and I was blindsided by misconception.

I don't want to go because I don't want to leave my kids here in the Bible clubs I work in. Last time I went to Ethiopia, I didn't have this strong of an emotional bond to these kids. I don't know what's different this time. I'm just really attached to them. I now hurt when they hurt. I now get excited when they find happiness. I now get sad when they are lonely. This will be my last semester with most of them because they will be in the Intermediate school by the time I return. I possibly will never see them again. Sure that will happen once they graduate from 4th grade, but some of these kids are in 2nd or 3rd. Even those who are younger than that, I might be leaving NC for college when I return and still won't see them again except maybe a hello-goodbye day.

I don't want to go to Ethiopia because the reverse will happen to the above problem. I will be in Ethiopia for two years, slowly building stronger emotional bonds with those I interact with. By the time I leave in 2016, I will be leaving more people I love whom I will probably never see again because I'm not sure if A.) I will be back at all or B.) if I will be back before two years. More emotional pain.

I don't want to go because I have a feeling I will have to give up my anti-social tendencies. I will have to be outgoing on my first encounters with people. I will have to keep my eyes and ears open to be able to realize things before leaving their homes (A lack of food in the house, a hurting mother, a desperate child for love).



Some of those reasons are stupid (I mean, I can get over being sick); some of them are seriously frightening to think about. Some of it makes me just want to stay where I'm at. To find a job that will both work around my doing Bible clubs and yet pay me enough to live off of the job. To get a degree in writing/journalism so I can work from home and start up a Bible club at the Intermediate school where there is no club. To invest in the lives of those I love in Ethiopia simply by means of sending a check to them and keeping up with monthly correspondences.

That way I won't have to hurt. I won't have to risk pain. I won't have to lose friends. I won't have to risk failure.


Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I go, not entirely 100% because I want to, but because God has called me and I know He will be with me. Whatever fears I may have, I can leave them up to God. Whether they happen or not: God is my God and He will be with me. 

Time to Return

Sometimes we take a road to change the life of someone else. Sometimes someone else changes our life when we weren't expecting it. Sometimes God gives us opportunities to show His love to people someone else can not. Sometimes we mess that up and get caught up in our own plans. Sometimes we get second chances.

God is leading me to Ethiopia. He is urging me to love with deeper passion. There are 91 million people living in Ethiopia, Africa. I will never be able to meet each one of them. I will never be able to make any type of impact for even one one-hundredth of them. But that is not my goal. There is a story about a boy on a beach with washed up starfish. As he walks along, he picks up one every so often and throws it back into the ocean. He realizes he cannot help all of them, but he can make a difference to the ones he throws back into the ocean. I cannot help everyone. I am not their messiah. I can, however, make a difference for the few that God will lead me to. I can be that person to show them who their Messiah is.

God has been opening my heart for this missions to Ethiopia ever since I returned in 2012. I didn't know how much love God would enable me to feel for these people, but each day my heart burns within me to be back and to show them the way to Jesus. I feel their sorrows when they feel scared and sad. I feel their pain when they lose hope and love. I can't bear to see precious children grow to a hopeless future. I want to share with them the hope that is found in the grace of Christ.

So I follow God to Ethiopia and I will live there for two years. I will be serving with an organization called Blessing the Children International. They work with orphans and widows and desire for them to know Christ. They have an academy where they educate with a high level of quality. They have a sponsorship program where they provide food, education and supplies, and healthcare. They also function with five local churches in the Debre Zeyit community where national pastors and congregations minister together to spread the love of God and the gospel of Christ.

I plan on leaving sometime during the month of September 2014 to join the work God is already doing in Ethiopia. I will be teaching a Sunday School class and will be teaching a computer usage class at the Academy. Beyond those two points, I leave any more details up to God. I know I will be building relationships with people so that I can be the salt and light God has called me to be.

But I cannot go without your help. I would like to request two things from you. First, I would appreciate your prayers. When you think about me or think about children knowing more about God, please offer a prayer that God will work through me to bring hope to children in Ethiopia. Second, I would appreciate any donations you might give to my mission. I will be living in Ethiopia for two years without any sort of job and will be paying a monthly living fee. Above that, there are a few administration fees here in the States plus the airfare to and from Ethiopia. Please consider your part in my ministry as God works in your heart to give. You mustn't give extravagantly, but please listen to any urging that the Spirit is working within your heart.

With any donation, you will become part of my mission team. You will receive newsletters which will inform you of what is happening in Ethiopia and you will be able to see where your money is going. In each newsletter there will be highlighted things for you to pray with me about. You will not regret donating because it is more than just giving dollars, it is giving love and hope. Children across the world can know that you gave even when you didn't know them so that I can go and tell them about God's grace.


If you would like for your donation to be tax deductible, then please write your check out to “Blessing the Children International,” with the memo line “Kevin Barrick Mission Trip.” You may mail any donation directly to me at my postal address (Just email me for it), or if you would rather, you can send it straight to Blessing the Children International.

I would like to add each of my donors to an email correspondence list, so if you would like to be on that list, please mail your check directly to me with an additional paper with your email address.

If you cannot donate to my mission, but instead desire to be part of my team by prayer and still want an email correspondence of God's work in Ethiopia, then please email me your contact information so that I can add you to the correspondence list.






Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your giving. Thank you for your love. May God bless you for your faithfulness.








Kevin Barrick
kevin2ethiopia.blogspot.com
kevinmbarrick@gmail.com

Blessing the Children International
2267 Fraser Road - Kawkawlin, MI 48631-9145
www.blessingthechildren.org

James 1:27

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Contributions to Blessing the Children International are generally considered tax deductible;
however, in accordance with IRS regulations, these designated offerings are subject to the
governing board's control and discretion. When contributions for a particular individual exceed
trip/support expenses, or if that volunteer is unable to participate on the trip, the governing board
may redirect contributions to another activity within Blessing the Children International's mission
program. If you are uncertain whether your donation qualifies for a tax deduction, please contact
your tax consultant. Blessing the Children International is an approved 501(c)3 nonprofit.

You're Sending Me, God?

It's a thought that exhilarates me. However, at the same time it worries me. The thought that God has called me to return to Ethiopia. The thought that once more I can hold my kiddoes and see how they've grown and to see if they remember me and my quirkiness. The thought of traveling the streets of Debre Zeyit or cruising through the highways of Addis Ababa.

But it's more than those luxuries of fleeting memories.

What excites me more is the thought of maybe being able to plant seeds of the Gospel in the hearts of various and random children I meet along the way. I envision a lot of ministry options. The most definite seems to be teaching a Sunday School class at the church of my sponsor kid, Natnael. I also consider staying until my visa expires in two years after my arrival on Ethiopian soil. It's a challenging thought.

However it's not the going away that challenges me.
I don't worry about my emotional stamina in leaving America. As much as I love my family and friends and the kids I work with, I imagine only dealing with homesickness halfway through my trip. By that point I will be able to set up Skype sessions, work around school schedules and phone my Bible Club kids, and send email to my friends and family at least weekly. And that can suffice me, I'd think. I have nothing for my kids in Ethiopia, save random photos from people returning from a missions trip throughout the year.
What challenges me is the huge spiritual task in front of me. I'm not a Praying Clyde (Missionary to India with a great track record for praying). I'm not some spiritual fortitude.

I'm weak.

I often fall prey to Satan.

That's what frightens me. What if I erect myself to be some lighthouse, shining the way to Christ through the broken streets of Debre Zeyit-- and then my lighthouse crumbles to the ground, thrusting them into an unexpected darkness. What if I lift up the faltering in Ethiopia, pointing their way to the Healer--and then I, myself, trip on those pebbles and trip them, causing them to circle around and lose sight of the Saviour?

Can God still spread His Gospel and Kingdom?

I understand God can be the iron casting that weaves around my lighthouse, empowering it to stand against the thrashes of the sea I stand in. I understand God can keep me from falling and that He holds my hand in his while I hold the hand of a struggling soul on the streets of life.
But why risk it? Why play with the fate of someone who will reject Him with a volatile human as myself?

Because He risked it for me.

God doesn't send me out with absolutely no help from Him. He isn't sending me to reach Ethiopia's children for Him in my own strength, plans, or abilities. And because it isn't in my strength that He is sending me out, I can rest in His strength to keep me from falling into a disgrace.

So, yes. I am weak. Yes, I do what I don't want to do (sin) and I don't do what I want to do (glorify God). Yes, my spirit flaunts its independence in the face of the Father only to be pushed to my knees by the Opposer. Yes, I am far from worthy of the call to point the children of Ethiopia to the Messiah who will wash away their sins and restore their hope.

But, no. I'm not alone. No, I am not left to be weak. No, I'm not wandering blind. No, God doesn't keep me on my knees, but instead pulls me to my feet and shows me what it means to depend on His grace.

Thus God sends me out. A weak, broken, faltering light to shine the path to the One who sustains. He sends me out as one who is in the process of being sanctified into His holiness. Not as completely perfect, but as one with a cast or a bandage: showing my gwadenyoch (friends) that God can heal their pains and bind their wounds; and that God can restore them and use them for His glory.


Thus God sends me to boast of His power, not to rely on mine. May His love be seen in my love; may His power be seen through my weakness. May His redeeming grace be seen by my surrendered life.

April Showers Bring May Flowers: Showering Ethiopia with Prayer

I would like to call all my friends and family to join me on a month-long prayer journey. God is working great things in Ethiopia, and I think it would be appropriate to shower the work over their with prayer. Prayer over the people; over the ministries; over the ministers. Prayers to bless; to care; to give hope.

Each day I will post either a link to a story about an individual or family, or I will write up a little bio-article. Please join me in this prayer journey. It should only take you five minutes to learn the story, to learn the persons, to learn the struggles. It should only take you a minute at a time randomly throughout your day to lift these persons up in prayer to God.


Showering Ethiopia with Prayer: Day 1
Praying for the poorest of the poor.

Click here for the worst Jonnett has seen.


Here are the names again for you to pray for:

Fasika Girma (Girl, 9 months old)
Meseret Girma (Girl, 8 years old)
Elias Sintayehu (Boy, 5 years old)
Weynishet Girma (Girl, 10 years old)

Remember to pray that God will provide money for food and shelter, as well as sponsors to take on sponsoring these precious souls.

Memories

I realized I've posted very few times on actual parts of my trip to Ethiopia. It was either all just a passing mention, or something else. I don't think I really posted anything of a journal-essence.

Activity Day #1

This is where I finally understand what it means when memories fade and regret splashes on me. My memories of this day (and probably all if I think about it) are attached to photos. If there are no photos, then I probably don't remember it. (Though, that's not always the case.)

Well, the day began with us leaving the guest house to make it to the church. A lot of the kids were already there playing on the playground. Jonnett and I went to the main building to set up, but the door was locked so we just chilled with the families on the porch. This girl is Belean, if I remember right. She one of a couple sets of twins in the 5 churches. *If I remember by the end of this post, I'll share a completely unrelated story that happened with Jonnett, this child and her twin, and me.

 Activity Day officially started with Nigist welcoming the children and beginning the day with some songs and prayer. Introductions were made, explanation of the day's events given, and then we split up. One group for crafts and Bible lesson. And the other for game time.

 We played many games. One was Cats and Mice, where kids-cats chases kids-mice and turned them into cats.
We also played an interesting game where we would walk in circles, and whenever the leader called out a color, we would do something (Netch[white]--touch teeth; Semiawi[blue]--point to sky)

 The kids really enjoyed playing on the playground equipment. They would pile onto the see-saw and see how many could get on.

 Sometimes they would be so piled up that they would slip down the poles and needed to be held up by others.

 At every Activity Day they serve meals to the children.

Yegele really enjoyed his food. (Follow that link to learn more about him! )

 At the end of the day, I spent some time with new friends. This is Abraham, and he loved to hold on to me and follow me wherever I went.

Once Abraham left, I began to play with a little boy, Yohannis. (Or maybe this is Yabsira. I didn't catch his name, really...) He liked my sunglasses and wanted a photo of him with them on. :)

Follow, Obey, Surrender.

God...may I never do things because I want to. May I never not do things because I don't want to. May everything I do and refrain from be done because You ordered it. Help me hear the voice of my Master and Shepherd and follow You. I was bought with a value worth more than gold--I was bought with the lifeblood of your beloved Son. And with that knowledge...I must realize I am your slave, your servant. I am ordained to follow you, obey you, mimic you. My emotions, desires, or goals are completely irrelevant in light of Your emotions, desires, and goals for me and mankind. Help me be true to my slave-hood. Help me be an instrument to your work, not the Master Worker, not the Conductor, not the Master.

God has his own thoughts. God has his own plans. Such is clearly seen in the Bible.

Psalm 40:5 "You have multiplied, O LORD my God,    your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;    none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them,    yet they are more than can be told."

Psalm 92:5 "How great are your works, O LORD!    Your thoughts are very deep!"

Psalm 33:11 "The counsel of the LORD stands forever,    the plans of his heart to all generations."

Isaiah 25:1 "O LORD, you are my God;    I will exalt you; I will praise your name, for you have done wonderful things,    plans formed of old, faithful and sure." 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare [38] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

 And I have my own thoughts. My own plans.

Psalm 139:23 "Search me, O God, and know my heart!    Try me and know my thoughts!"

(They can be just, pure thoughts...)
Proverbs 12:5 "The thoughts of the righteous are just;    the counsels of the wicked are deceitful."

(Or they can be an abomination to God...)
Proverbs 15:26 "The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD,    but gracious words are pure."


But all in all, my thoughts are not God's. My plans are not God's.

Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,    neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth,    so are my ways higher than your ways    and my thoughts than your thoughts."


And that's the crux of everything. God is, if we put things in a down-to-earth scale, up there at the top of the Empire State Building with His thoughts and plans. We, on the other hand, are the same distance the other direction; we're plowing into the mantle. It's not comparable. His thoughts are higher than ours--just like the sky is higher than the earth.

That's why I am His servant (purchased by Christ) not the other way around. That's why He calls the shots. That's why He is the Shepherd.
God desires the whole earth to be saved. He desires every tribe, every tongue, every people to testify to His love, to grow in Grace, to be redeemed. He knows the future; He knows everything. He sees what I don't see, He knows what I can't comprehend. For that reason, I ought to forsake everything that promotes me as the one who calls the shots.

And it's all so crazy. I wish there were a better word than 'crazy', but that's the best I can come up with. It's just crazy to think that God takes the time to redeem me* and to think thoughts towards me, to have plans for me, to desire my well-being, to gift me with desires so that I can follow Him in joy and peace.

*And it's crazy how much is packed into that word 'redeemed'. It means I'm saved, forgiven, loved. It means that God believes in me; that He sees my potential in Him so greatly that He granted me His Spirit so that I can carry out His will in my own individuality but in His strength and power. 



Everything nowadays is drawn back to Ethiopia. It's the desire of my heart. It's my thought; it's my desire; it's my plan. When reflecting in hindsight my sinful heart, my oppositions to Christ and the Spirit, I often follow the trend of "If I keep this path, I won't be able to go back to Ethiopia--what's the sense in living for God across the world if I can't live for God in my life in my home?" Sometimes it's more than logistics, it can go to thoughts of disqualification, becoming unfit as the vessel God wanted me to be used for, etc.

But is that really the thought pattern that is just? Is that the thinking that will get me into the will of God? My head says no.
Sin should never be viewed solely as consequential to the ministry. Sin should be viewed as drifting away from God.
Drifting away from God should never be viewed as detrimental to the ministry. Sin should be viewed as detrimental to my life.


But, Ethiopia. What if...I'm hyping it up in my heart? What if I want Ethiopia because it's a hip thing to do? What if I want Ethiopia because I simply want an avenue of service to God? What if I just want a pat on the back? What if I just want recognition? What if I just want change from the norm?
Those are all horrible reasons to want Ethiopia in my life. And I shouldn't want to go back to Ethiopia because I want it. I shouldn't want Ethiopia because I want it. I should want to go because God wants me to go and is sending me. I should want Ethiopia because God wants me to want it.
It should have zero things to do with me, and everything to do with God.

I'm the slave; He's the Master. I'm the forgiven; He's the forgiver. I'm the lost-now-found; He's the Seeker. I'm the redeemed; He's the redeemer. I'm the clay; He's the Potter.

God wants what is best for me. He wants what is best for you. He wants what is best for the children of Ethiopia. He wants what is best for the people of the world. And God knows what I can and cannot do. He's the One who gave me my likes and dislikes; my strengths and my weakness; my abilities and disabilities; my knowledge and lack of knowledge. He created my personality. He created me.

It would be crazy for me to call the shots. It would be crazy to pursue my own thing. It would be crazy to plan my life.

God...you have plans for me. You have desires for my life. You have my future already prescribed. You already know what you want me to do and where. Help me be fully surrendered to you. If you send me to Ethiopia, help me go. If you send me to another place, help me go. If you send me here, help me stay. Help me be focused on today's decisions, not tomorrow's dream. Help me be so close to You that I hear your small, still voice; that I feel your impulses; that I can feel your heart beat. Help me feel your pain; feel your joy; feel your power. Help me forsake all that is me and run after all that is You. God, I need you to fill be with Your Spirit to control me. I need Your love to fill my heart. I need You.  Help me surrender all.